Band 9 Essays: Writing Introductions – Fat Kids

 

child-obesity

Nowadays more and more children acquire unhealthy eating habits. Why is it happening? What can be done to solve this issue?

  1. Identify the TYPE of essay. This essay is asking to identify some causes (“Why is this happening”), and then offer some solutions (“What can be done to solve this issue?”)
  2. For an IELTS-length essay (250-350 words) you should only write 2-3 sentences for an introduction.
  3. You MUST mention the topic and state the type of essay you will be writing (Opinion, Discuss Both Sides, or Problem and Solutions)
  4. You MUST paraphrase the topic. If you just COPY it you will not get a good mark and the words will NOT count towards the total word count. In this example, try to think of synonyms for “nowadays”, “more and more”, “unhealthy eating habits”, “acquire”, “solve”, and “issue”. If you can’t think of any synonyms, try to change the structure.
  5. You can mention some of the reasons in your introduction (see Example 3) and then use the second sentence to mention the need for solutions.

Lu Zhihao kicks a ball at a basketball court in Foshan

Example 1 –

In the modern world, there is an increasing number of children who are developing harmful eating habits. This phenomenon has come about because of several factors, but there are some strategies that can be put in place to address this alarming problem.”

Example 2 –

“As the number of obese children continues to grow due to the rise in deleterious diets, it is necessary to take action to halt this severe problem. This essay will attempt to highlight some of the reasons for the growth in the harmful eating habits of children and also provide some measures that can be adopted to deal with them.

Example 3 –

“With the low price of calorie-rich foods like fast food and soft drinks and the rapid pace of life in modern societies, the proportion of children with toxic ways of eating has risen dramatically. As a result, it is necessary to find some ways to tackle this situation before it becomes even more problematic.

child-obesity-2

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